I’ll never have an April 23rd pass that I don’t think of Lee, my brother. I could write another tribute, but the one I penned a year ago just poured out of my heart, completely spontaneous and wholly inspired by something other than my own feeble mind. I don’t think I could do another one with any shred of justice.
So at the risk of redundancy, I’ll just do a re-do!
REMEMBERING LEE
Originally posted April 23, 2007
I am up WAY too late tonight — or should I say I am up WAY too early this morning? I have a mind full of things that just won’t let me sleep. I’ve been writing down scriptures to pray specifically over my kids. I just feel like we have had some missteps in parenting for awhile now and it is time to get the boundaries re-established. I also feel like I’ve not been the watchman on the wall on behalf of my kids. Not to mention that I am a mother who is simply a jar of clay, a cracked pot, who needs to fall on my face and ask God to help me once again be the Godly mother that my children need.
But it just dawned on me a few minutes ago that maybe God had another purpose in my being up at this time — the wee hours of the morning of Monday, April 23, 2007. You see, it was this time, almost to the minute, 17 years ago that my sweet little brother, Lee, slipped from the arms of my mother into the arms of Jesus. It, too, was a Monday — one I will never forget.
My brother was only 15, but he had been in a earthly body in desperate need of healing his entire life. He had cerebral palsy — severely disabled and blind from birth. But what a ministry that kid had on this earth in his very short life! Countless people were touched by his life in some way.
We knew that Lee was spending his last hours on earth the Sunday before he passed away. We had all gathered at my parents’ home. I remember just laying down beside him, holding onto him, every chance I got. I wasn’t ready to let go, but I believe he was. You see, Lee had a habit of yawning during our pastor’s sermons. When Lee yawned it was pretty loud and our pastor would always say, “Well, I guess it’s time to wrap it up — Lee’s bored.” But the days leading up to Lee’s home-going were entirely different. He simply didn’t make a sound. He had slipped in and out of consciousness for days leading up to that Sunday. Until…
Our pastor came in to visit with us and just sit for awhile. When it came time for him to go, he prayed with us and over Lee. I was laying right next to my sweet brother — cheek to cheek. The prayer went on for a few minutes and suddenly, out of no where, Lee yawned! It was familiar and we all just had to laugh. Our pastor said those words again, “Well, it must be time to wrap it up — Lee’s bored.” Maybe not bored, but ready to go.
I got the call around 1:00 am (almost to the minute that I’m writing this post) that my other brother, Rob, and I needed to come home. I knew in my heart that he was probably already at Home with Jesus and a strange peace come over me. When I walked into my parents’ home, it was clear that Lee was no longer in that twisted, wasted away little shell. He was Home — walking, talking, laughing, running, and singing. Just the thought that the first face he ever saw was Jesus was more than I really could process at the time.
The moments that followed are etched into my memory and I hope I never forget what it felt like to sit with my Mom in the floor as she played an old southern gospel song that she had played over and over for Lee in the last months of his life.
Lately I’ve been yearnin’ for home
But my heart has already gone
With each step that I take, I feel one step away
From walking through the pearly gates
Soon He’ll call announcin’ my entrance
And I’ll go without a delay
For I long just to bow in His presence
And hear my Redeemer say
Welcome to heaven my child
Welcome to heaven, my child;
You have run the race
You have kept the faith,
Welcome to heaven, my child
Golden streets, jasper walls, mansions bright
And crystal rivers will sparkle with light
Heaven’s beauties we’ll share
But they’ll never compare to the moment
He welcomes me there
Glory’s angels will all step aside
When He greets me with arms open wide
He’ll step down from His throne
Just for me alone,
Face to face He’ll welcome me home
Welcome to heaven my child
Welcome to heaven, my child;
You have run the race
You have kept the faith,
Welcome to heaven, my child.
I love all the memories I have of my brother, Lee. Not all were extremely happy. Some were quite painful. It was quite a journey — one I would never trade. Because through it all, I learned a lot more about the Savior than I would have ever known had I not walked the path.
Letting go is hard — very painful — even all these years later. But just knowing that Lee is already there praising God and worshipping at His feet, makes it all worth it.
“But there’s far more to life for us. We’re citizens of high heaven! We’re waiting the arrival of the Savior, the Master, Jesus Christ, who will transform our earthy bodies into glorious bodies like his own. He’ll make us beautiful and whole with the same powerful skill by which he is putting everything as it should be, under and around him.” (Philippians 3:20-21 THE MESSAGE)
“Then one of the elders asked me, ‘These in white robes - who are they, and where did they come from?’ I answered, ‘Sir, you know.’ And he said, ‘These are they who have come out of the great tribulation; they have washed their robes and made them white in the blood of the Lamb. Therefore, ‘they are before the throne of God and serve him day and night in his temple; and he who sits on the throne will spread his tent over them. Never again will they hunger; never again will they thirst. The sun will not beat upon them, nor any scorching heat. For the Lamb at the center of the throne will be their shepherd; he will lead them to springs of living water. And God will wipe away every tear from their eyes.’” (Revelation 7:13-17)
I love you, Lee, and I can’t wait to see you again!
Blessings,
Dori
